Focus on the WHY!

I come across people all the time that say how do you run a not-for-profit organization?  Most days I think to myself how do we do it? Well after some deep thought I had to come up with the proper way of looking at the situation it is not how we do it that keeps it going, but the WHY we do it that propels us forward.

When you present the idea of running a NFP one of the first things you’re told is that it is going to be extremely hard to get funding because of all of the government budget cuts. Take this advice and run with it because believe it or not it is not hard, but it is hard work. You have to be willing to put in the man hours to write those grants, fill out those RFP’s, and solicit, in all forms or fashion.  Who would have thought that I can get someone to invest in nails, but not in providing a youth center for teens to grow?

True Story: One of my friends recently came to me and stated that he wanted to open a nail salon and would like my assistance. After about 2 days he came back to me and stated he needed the business plan completed as soon as possible because he had an investor lined up ready to sign. This instantly shook me not because I wasn't happy for my friend, but because it was that easy to get someone to believe in a profitable business vs. and non-profit designed to help the community.

When I think about the situation I analyze the meetings, the phone calls, and the overwhelming amount of opinions that people have about NFPs. In the beginning you have a lot of help and everyone is on your team, but by the 3^rd quarter you look around and your left with 1 or 2 franchise players and you’re wondering what happened.  This is when you have to take a step back and evaluate yourself and your program as a whole.  As an organization you wonder what you can do to keep yourself a float on a raft that it seems everyone is poking holes in.  What you do is focus on the WHY and realizes that the raft may have holes, but you still have your life vest and shore is right there. The next thing you know you have jumped out that raft and started to swim and with each stroke you gain hedge way.

It seems in today’s society it is not enough to want to help your community, but you have to beg for the funds and support to get it going. Even after you work through the frustration, paperwork, and setbacks you still have to keep the WHY present in your mind. The WHY is the most important part of opening a NFP because it is the part that will keep you motivated to succeed in what you’re trying to do?

Why do I continue to push for an all-girls community center in Chicago? It is because these young ladies need a place to call theirs.  They need a stable place that is not there for judgment, but guidance and growth.  A center where reality is there real life issues and not what the media or peer pressure tells them it should be. Mentors who listen, teach, and help cultivate dreams into obtainable goals. It is a place for them to vent and talk to someone who can give them sound advice when they feel alone in this world.  E.O.G. is not just for mentors building up mentees it is for girls growing to be women that build up their community.

You ask WHY? Well let’s see it is because instead of having baby showers I would rather see them having graduation parties. Or better yet instead of them having goals of being on World Star Hip Hop, Bossip, Twitter, and all other tabloids by creating demeaning videos, I would rather see them throwing trunk parties for college. Instead of purchasing the latest fashions, hair, or trends I would rather see them raising money for their school activities, tuition, and books.  Instead of being the school fun girl I would rather see them be the school Valedictorian.  Or giving hope to the teen moms so that they know life hasn't ended because of the decision they made. They can still go on to be good mom’s and successful in life.

To many people I am known as old fashion and at first I used to be like I am very in tune with today’s society, but then I had to stop and think I am not and yes I am old fashioned. I know that being old fashioned is what makes me push so hard for E.O.G.  A non-profit is not a business that is for everyone and that is extremely true in the case of someone looking for instant gratification or financial gain. My mentees ask me why I am so blunt and up front with them and I tell them because I have to be.   The world is not going to handle them with kid gloves and neither will I because that is giving them a false since of security.

Mentors are not here to replace parents, but help parents get their kids to open up and communicate with a level headed grownup that is able to guide some of the decisions they are making.  Do I see myself being a mentor years from now I say yes, absolutely, 100% because there will always be a young lady out there that just needs to talk. If they are not talking to parents then the question becomes who are they talking to?

By Monique Lloyd

"Inside A Teenagers Mind"

Parents always want us to come to them and tell them things. They are always trying to get their children to open up to them. Well from a child's perspective, it is not going to happen. The problem is that parents are very judgmental. There is never a moment when a child can come to their parent just to "talk". You are not our friends you make sure to kill the thought of that while we are at a young age. So why do you want us to talk you now? How could you expect us to? In my opinion, parents always have something to say and that's a big problem when it comes to a child telling them anything.


Sometimes we just want to vent to someone. If you child comes to you, sits on your bed and tells you something... You should be very happy! But there are a few rules that come along with your child giving you this responsibility:


1. Do not give your opinion unless it is asked of you.
2. Do not tell anyone else. Friends, Family, Facebook, etc. NO ONE!
 
That's another thing that children hate and I know that I hate it especially. Do not get on the phone and tell the whole nation our business...That is not why we told you. Parents, in a child's mind, are not to be trusted with information because once they know your business it's on the front page of Japan's top newspaper. Be grateful that you are even being exposed to this information. No, I'm not saying that all parents are like this because I know of a few that can actually be trusted. But that is only a few. Teenagers are hard to deal with and I totally understand (me being a teenager and all), but you must have that bond & trusts between one another if you want your child to be comfortable with telling you things. That's just a little advice!

By: E.O.G. Student Blogger, Dana Chanel 

The inconvenience of convenience!

I am simply asking this question is convenience really a big inconvenience?  It comes as no surprise that our culture has evolved into a over technological group of kids who barely know their own phone numbers.  If you stop a kid that you know and ask them to tell you his/her home phone number they will give you one of three responses.

1.      We don’t have a home phone, but I can give you my mom’s cell number.

2.      Wait a minute let me look in my phone.

3.      Or (and this is highly unlikely) they will tell it to you from memory.

Have we as a people started to dumb our kids down never once thinking about the effects all of these conveniences have on our children? As parents we give our kids what we think they should have and we provide for them the best way we know how.  What we don’t do is stop and think about the fact that we are tossing them into is a society of availability. We inadvertently push off the standard of always being available.  When you get a new cell phone it tells you to turn your phone off when you’re charging it, but how many people honestly do that for fear of missing out on an important call. What is so super important under general circumstances that we need our phones on late at night when we are supposed to be resting?  People seem to forget there was a time when not everyone had access to you unless they wrote and if something was important you received a call on your house phone or you were beeped. 

Fast forward to modern day and no matter the level of importance there is a way for me to access you at all times.  Do we not realize that there are a couple things at work here that we unintentionally teach?

1.      Everything needs to be immediate (fast results).

2.      We have created a group of kids that don’t need and imagination, because media has created one for them.

3.      I should always be able to get in touch with you even when your sleep.

4.      It is better to be socially connected instead of physically connected to others.

5.      Forget about memorization, writing, spelling, and reading skills.  When you have things like texting code, spell check, auto correct, and email.

Even at a young age we let technology do the raising, and at times even parenting for us. We all have been in public and seen the child with the cell phone playing games or the kid falling out and their parents instead of dealing with the behavior so that it will stop they hand them their cell phone or ipad.  Then wonder why after about 10 minutes the kid is bored again.  Never once stopping to think that when there were no cell phones children knew how to act in public a lot better.  Moms had more control over their little ones and keeping them occupied meant “when we get in this store you better not move, touch anything, say anything, or you already know what is going to happen.” Oh let’s not forget the wonderful child statement “I am bored” of course you are if you don’t have any technology. There is no reason why a 5 year old should be bored when they have so many things to get into. There is a TV show called Super Nanny and one of the first things she does when she enters a home is take away all the technology why? It is a distraction for children, and parents. Instead of surfing the web you could be playing hide and seek, tag, or reading a book to your kids. Believe it or not kids love to hear stories about things you did with them when they were little.

What happened to the notes that stated “do you like me check yes or no or maybe? They have been replaced with a text message. Or the cute letters that were wrote and handed to the guy/girl you liked. Yes we must evolve, but at what cost are we taking up that evolution. The world has become so much smaller due to being able to talk to people all over on the internet, but it has also spawned whole new waves of crime. It is easier for a person to steal your identity online then traveling to where you are to steal it. Albert Einstein was quoted as saying this about technology “I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots.” So I ask have we overlapped our humanity?

By: Monique Lloyd

Welcome

This blog is to promote the young ladies of Empowering Our Girlz Mentoring.  The post on this blog will be submitted by the mentors as well as the mentees. We will feature stories, original blogs, poetry, and any creative information the girls would like to contribute. In an effort to give these young ladies a voice this will be their outlet and one of many ways they will be able to contribute to the EOG Mentoring program.  So many times we have so much to say and very limited ways to say it.  Here is there stage, platform, and mountain to stand on and shout to the world what they are thinking, doing, and feeling. 

In this blog you will find many situations that may pertain to you or someone you know. Each blog posted will be an open forum for discussion and as such will be open to all respectful comments.  This blog will be heavily monitored by the moderator and all abusive, or foul language comments will be removed.   We encourage all who stop by the blog to leave a comment.